Jes my life..

This weekend I attended my first ever young woman's retreat. Let's say I had major doubts about going and to tell you the truth I really didn't even want to go. Three months ago one of my co-workers (Auna) told me that her church was having a retreat and that I needed to come. Huh? I needed to was my first reaction. I didn't say it aloud but thought it. Then my cousin (Mel) kept asking me if I was going to the retreat too. I was still very unsure.

Thursday rolls around and I'm like okay I need to pack my things to go, even though at the back of my mind I still did not want to go. But I'm like you know what, what do I have to loose by going to this. I mean I've grown up around church my entire life. I was baptized when I was a few months old, asked Jesus into my heart when I was 12, and was water baptized last November. I'm going to do it, not because it was something I needed to do for me, but because it was something I had to want to do for me.

Let me tell you, I am so grateful that I kicked myself in the butt to go. Because I had such an amazing time and I met some of the most beautiful girls I've ever met. Not only outside, but inside as well. It was such a life changing experience for myself and it is something that I needed to have at this point in my life.

For those of you who are worried, don't worry I will not push God onto you because that's not the type of person I am. Besides it has to be your choice to follow him, I can't make you.

I know that it's going to be hard and I will be challenged every single moment of every day, but I know that I can do this, because I CHOOSE to do this.

:)

since I've posted anything here. Well except for my little vent session. That, these days, could get me into some trouble. Especially after this email that I read from my friend. Ugh. Seriously? Yeps. Well I went to Kona this past weekend with part of my fam bam. It was fun. My nephews && niece had a great time. They got to go to Volcano National Park, see the black sand beach and much more. Can't wait to take them to Disneyland within the next two years. I'll post pics soon :)

I'm over work. Actually I'm over the stupid person we call a store manager (SM or PB). So it's totally okay for her to offend me, even though she thinks that it's not offensive, who the hell does she think she is. Things can be offensive to me even with a "please" or "thanks" before or after whatever the hell you write. How dare you tell me that it's okay for you to be offended with what I write, but it's not for me to feel that way as well. Who do you think you are thinking you can try to control the way I feel. I'm not afraid to speak my mind and feel the way that I feel. I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I don't like you, you will know that I don't like you. No sense in acting fake about anything. Gone through too much bullshit with people being fake to my face. I'm over that shit. So I shed a few tears, and she thought it was because of her. What a arrogant son of a bitch thinking that she has any emotional effects like that on my behalf. The only thing she makes me is pissed. Ever felt that you were up against a wall trying your hardest to push, but you weren't getting any where? Well when I feel like that it makes me so angry that I cry. Fuck her!

I feel vampire.

Copy && paste from blog to blog. LOL.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Perhaps there isn't anything wrong. Ugh. Being uninspired sucks. Just when I think I've become inspired, it's gone. So sad. Last night I actually had the urge to make things in photoshop. Made two things, and then boom, gone! Perhaps it's my brain on overload or something. Man I wish I was just a little inspired, I'd like to write again. But at this point that seems like a far shot.

Maybe it's cause I'm at this point in my life, where I want to be married have some kids. Only problem, which by the way is a big problem. I have yet to meet the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Or maybe I have and like Mayer says, "Could I have missed my chance and watch you walk away" Did I really miss it? Oh hell go shopping online. Know what that means? Eharmony.com baby! Ahahaha.

Yeah, now I'm just talking bubbles. WTF? This is what happens when I'm bored, over myspace, facebook && twitter at the moment. *sighs* I gotta feeling...wait nope, it's gone.

Heading to the infamous North Shore of Oahu today. Lots to see && do. Even though I've seen it a ton of times and done stuff there a ton of times as well. It's always a new adventure when going to North Shore. Always something new to discover. Strange, but awesome. Of course there will be a stop at Matsumoto's to get shave ice. Yum! Can't wait! Just waiting on Mel to hurry up and be out of church so we can be on our way!

I just don't understand some people && how they can't see the bigger picture. Unless it's my view that's been obstructed? I don't know.

We have a new SM at our store. We were very open-minded and thought how bad could it be when we heard "good" things about her. Or so we thought.

She said she wanted to "get to know" us before she made any big changes. -Bullshit!

She said we are over labor hours of opening and closing shifts. -Bullshit! Then why the hell did our total store hours between all the partners never come out to 400 hours like it does this week with two openers and two closers. WTF?

She wants to remove our frappuccino machine. -Seriously? WTF? Have you not been working in the same store as me for the past two weeks? We make a shitload of frappuccinos. Do you want to make like a million and one pitchers of frappuccino mix? I didn't think so. LEAVE the damn machine alone. (Her response, we will have so much counter space) Who the hell cares about the counter space. Shoot if something good works and ain't broke, then DON'T FIX IT. Hello!

She wants me to come in early tomorrow to "learn" how to open with two people! -WTF bitch I know how to open with two people, I'm not some brand spankin' new MOD that doesn't do SHIT like you. I do stuff all the stuff I'd make my baristas do, NOT LIKE YOU. LET me see you actually try to bend down and pick up the mats. Or let me see you scrub the drains. Don't tell me that's not in your job description because I know damn well that it is. Just because you're a SM doesn't mean that you don't have the same responsibilities as shift supervisors or baristas, you need to wake up because YOU DO.

Don't ask me if I have another job or if I go to school and then when I reply "NO" tell me that you won't be able to put in my new availability in until later on! Well why the hell not! It's not like it's a dramatic change from what I had on the last one. I would just like to have Monday and Tuesdays off because I'm being worked by a slave driver. My response to her, "This is the last week I can work six days!" Her reply, "Why?" Mine, "Because if you haven't noticed I've been overworked a lot this last month." For instance she made me work eight days straight. && if you had my job, working that much days makes you go crazy after five days. Eight is pushing you to insanity.

When there is only TWO people working, don't go in the back sit on your ass for 20 (yes TWENTY) minutes leaving the other person to ring up customers and make their drinks. It only makes that other person talk more SHIT about you to the other partners. -Don't mess with this store we STICK together!

I am not DEAF! I can hear crystal clear. I heard you the first time when you told me to do a "lobby" before I leave for the day. I wasn't clocking out, but pulling my till. I'm not a LAZY ASS like you that doesn't do shit all day but shit in the back on her big ass. Thank you!

The deposit does NOT take THREE hours to do. How do I know? I've gotten it done in ten minutes and back out on the floor by fifteen minutes. So DON'T LIE TO ME, because I KNOW THE TRUTH - you're just lazy and don't want to do anything.

Don't compare us to your "old" store because let me tell you something. WE ARE MORE BUSIER then your "old" store. Umm, hello that's why they closed thank you.

**

Man I feel so much better that's off my chest.

Because I'm bored && while watching two awesome shows (Gossip Girl && One Tree Hill) I was letting my mind run wild, day dreaming, and thinking about what I'd actually like to say to someone, who doesn't know how I feel about them if I actually had the guts to come out and say it. Why don't I? Because the last time I spoke my mind and told someone my feelings of them, I got shut down. So now I'm more hesitant, but I know if you don't do it. Then you never know what could have been. So yeah, instead of my rants here it is....

I'm not perfect. I make every possible mistake, but learn from them all the while. I speak my mind on things I know isn't right and though it gets me into trouble sometimes I can't help how I feel. I am stubborn to the core, but will break and give in. I might do or be a lot of things that through you're eyes aren't good. But that's just who I am. And underneath all of the imperfections, stubbornness, and mistake making know that I am helplessly, madly, uncontrollably in love with you.

*sighs*

idk.

speak your mind already!

the Cullen's have come out to play....

*sighs* I can't escape the Twilight....

God answered my prayers when a one of my old customers from Kapolei DT came and visited me. I've been waiting for a long time to see him and I swear it was like a breath of fresh air. I knew it was him from when he first walked in but couldn't make eye contact or say hello at first cause I knew I was way too excited to see him. We got to talking and I could feel my heart pounding faster. It was pretty amazing. Didn't make the move to tell him we should hang out sometime. I should've because I don't know when he'll be back to see me, but only God knows and I'm sure he'll send him my way again.

I've been blessed.

So I'm giving writing another chance. Started a new fic. and I'm waiting to see where it'll go. Inspiration has been hard to come across these days, esp. since I've been obsessed with the whole Twilight saga. I'm currently reading New Moon once again. Blah for me. I need something new to get my mind stuck on. Man it's all Harm's (my cousin) fault for wanting me to read Twilight in the first place. One week && all four books later I'm hooked. It's so sad, but true. Team Edward all the damn way! Hehe. *sighs* I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Watch soon enough a Edward Cullen && Bella Swan fan fiction will be along shortly. Haha, well probably not. No inspiration, remember?

I've been sucked in to the whole Twilight thing! It's crazy.

Election day, General! Starbucks was offering a free tall coffee for those who said they voted. People were getting bent out of shape over the whole ordeal. After work I had breakfast with the parentals and then voted for the first time in my life. I am proud to say that I voted for McCain/Palin even though they didn't win (Obama/Bidden won for those of you living under a rock) based on my faith I chose to vote for John && Sarah and didn't bail last minute just because Obama is "from Hawaii." In our weekly MOD meeting Paula (SM) shared a view that I never thought to look at. She shed light on a process called "bean to cup" which talks about all the people that are involved in the whole process of coffee starting off as a bean, in which farmers are involved, those who harvest the beans, people who transport them to roasting plants and so forth until we brew it && serve that perfect blend all those people had a hand in making. We as baristas are the final step to showcasing, to some point, all their hardwork by creating legendary service. It has given me a whole new outlook on my job, one I would've never thought to see. But now I see a bigger, more clear picture. Starbucks is joining the (red) campaign. Taking $0.05 from each holiday beverage sold, no matter what the size is, and donating it to help those with Aids and HIV in Africa. I've become inspi(red) all over again by Starbucks!

Happy Halloween! My nephews && niece were so damn cute for Halloween. Jayden was a clone wars trooper from Star Wars, Chasyn was a ninja but he looked like he was in Mortal Combat, Jordan was Robin from Batman && Robin and Azlyn was Little Red Ridding Hood. They were a cute bunch.

Life through my eyes has a new changed view. I see the world differently. Seeing the bigger picture that not only includes myself but those around me. I've realized that I am a bigger influence than I give myself credit for. And I told out on voicing my talents because of my humbleness - yet am very proud of things I am able to accomplish. Hard work pays off and soon enough I will be more successful than I know I already am. Life is good with God, an awesome family and great friends. What more could anyone ask for? I have a place to live and a job, but most of all I have love!

Man it's been a very long while since I've logged into this account. Myspace && Facebook has taken over my internet time these days. Just keeping in touch with old friends as well as with the new ones. So much has changed && I can't even begin to explain what has. Maybe tomorrow or this weekend I will. I'm adding this to my Bookmarked Tabs!

It's been almost three months since I've posted here, why? School && work has been taking up most of my time these days. Yes, I finally went back to school. Yay me. This first semester hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I mean I'm not really taking hard classes (Math, Art 101, Hist 151 and Speeh 151), it's just I've forgotten how much I really don't like homework. But yet now that I'm "in college" I actually do my homework, not because I have to, but because I actually want to. Plus I'm paying my way through school, and I sure as hell don't want to be wasting my money. Know what I mean??

Lots have happened, too much to even think about this late at night, but I'm actually waiting until 12am so I can register for my Spring 2008 classes (Math, English, History and Biology). I've got 8 minutes and I'm tired as hell. Guess what's all for now. I'm out.

1. List seven habits/quirks about yourself.
2. Tag seven people to do the same.
3. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag whoever wants.

1. When people talk to me I look at them without replying and with a blank stare, kinda like a "WTF?" stare. IDK.

2. I change the station on the radio to almost all the stations I like before choosing one station. I do it almost every five minutes or so in my car.

3. Because CHS is my answer to just about everything. It's an inside joke.

4. When I drink an iced triple tall espresso add thai. I get really hyper && listen to Frank Sinatra.

5. I buy random clearance things from Starbucks.

6. I have a text messaging problem. It's my source of venting even though calling the person would be easier. No I'd rather sit there and type out messages.

7. I bite my inner lip when I'm nervous.

Tags:

IDK. I don't even know who reads my page besides Elan && she tagged me.